Thursday, April 16, 2015

TCK Questionnaire

Third Culture Kid Questionnaire by Benjamin D. Hinely

Answers to this questionnaire are kept completely anonymous; no names will ever be shared in connection to answers shared here. This questionnaire is a growing project to gather the particulars of a particular people. Third culture kids are very different from most people anywhere they go. They live in a space between cultures that can be at times wonderfully full of experience and at others terribly isolating. As this group is so unique, they come with unique experiences, both good and bad. It is the authors hope that this questionnaire will help, in some degree, to see what is common amongst TCK and also what is different.
What follows is the first draft of the questionnaire. Please answer honestly and openly. At the end is a place for you to put additional questions you feel should be included. Thank you for your time and patience.

1.      At what age did you leave your home country?
­­­­­­­­­­­
·         Or if born overseas, where?

2.      What age were you when you returned to your home country?

3.      Where did you grow up, or where did you spend most of your childhood?

4.      If you currently live in your home country:
·         How long have you been in your home country?
·         Do you feel like you have readjusted to your home country? Why?
·         If so, how long did it take you?
·         If not, why?

5.      How many countries have you lived in/visited?

6.      Where do you consider your home to be?

·         Why?

7.      What word best describes your time abroad?

·         Why?

8.      What word best describes your time in your home country?

·         Why?

9.      What emotion best describes how you feel about your time abroad?

·         Why?

10.  Do you still want to travel?
·         Why?

11.  How many languages do you know?

12.  Are you a student now, or do you work?

·         If a student, what is your major and planned degree level?

·         If working, what line of work or field are you in?

13.  Do you want to work in the same line of work as your parents?

·         Why?

14.  What advice do you have for others going to another country?

15.  What advice do you have for those returning to their home country?

16.  What would you have done differently in adjusting to the second culture?

17.  What would you have done differently in adjusting to your home culture?


18.  Is your line of work/major influenced by your experience outside of your home country? How?

19.  Worst experience overseas?

20.  Best experience overseas?

21.  What is your comfort food?
·         Is it from abroad, or your home country? Which Country?

22.  What is your favorite fruit from abroad, and from where is it?

23.  Do you go out of your way to experience things from other countries?

24.  Worst experience in home country?

25.  Best experience in home country?

26.  Where did you feel culture shock the worst?

27.  What does home sickness feel like?

28.  Do feel like you belong to your home country, or do feel like a foreigner?

29.  Was it easier to go abroad, or come back to your home country?
                                        
30.  What was the best attribute of the people in the countries you lived in?

31.  What was the worst attribute of the people in the countries you lived in?­

32.  What is the best attribute of the people in your home country?

33.  What is the worst attribute of the people in your home country?

34.  Do you currently suffer from depression?

35.  Have you had depressive episodes in the past?


36.  Do you suffer from anxiety?

·         Did you have this same kind of anxiety before returning to your home country?

37.  What do you feel you gained from living in other countries?

38.  What do you feel you may have lost from living in other countries?

39.  Was your experience an overall positive, or negative one?

40.  Do you blame your parents for any negative experiences?

41.  Have you thanked your parents for any positive experiences?

42.  Do you share your parent’s faith/beliefs?

43.  What questions is this survey lacking?

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Excerpt from my longer story,The Stone Guardian

"The Dead Lights of New Dublin it is then. Ok, everyone gather around.” Kyle loved this; he loved telling stories as much as he loved reading about monsters.
The others, including the toy companions and Stone Guardian sat down with the fire between them and Kyle; “for dramatic effect,” he insisted.
“The tale as told goes like this.” (Kyle put on his best storytellers voice.)
About fifteen years ago, a brother and sister of 16 and 17 were making the journey from Flannigan’s Wake to Southport, alone. Flannigan’s Wake is the farthest city to the north, and as such it is remote and the journey from there to the next city is a week’s boat ride.
Three days into the trip, their small boat had a nasty collision with jagged river rocks (The rivers aren’t well maintained out that far you see) and started to sink. The two managed to run the boat ashore just in time. They were now stranded in the middle of nowhere with no way to get home or finish the journey south. The jungle is far too thick to make the trek worth it, not to mention the various hungry beasties.”

“Here come the monsters” sighed Clare. Kyle ignored her and carried on.

“They had the supplies in what was left of the boat, so they could wait for help. But they had no idea when that would come along. They had no choice but to set up camp on the river bank and wait. Nathan, the younger brother, took the canopy off the boat and set it up as a temporary tent. His older sister, Liz, drug the supplies up under it to keep them dry.
That first night they heard the sounds. A strange wailing filled the air it was quickly followed by the sounds of crashing and breaking undergrowth. It seemed to be coming from deeper in the jungle. They had no idea what creature the sounds belonged too, but decided they had no desire to meet it. Sleeping in the broken boat was as far as they could get from the forest.
By morning the sounds were gone, leaving the two slightly braver but still wary. The sun being up didn’t hurt their bravery either.
Brother and sister decided that with the daylight things weren’t so bad and since it may be some time before rescue came, they might as well explore the surrounding area. They left a note with their tent stating their intent, grabbed two fishing spears, a bag with some food in it, and started for the tree line.
They hadn’t gone 20 feet past the tree line when they found massive tracks through the forest. The branches in the trees above the tracks were broken as well. Something very big had gone by during the night.
The tracks looked like nothing Nathan or Liz had seen before. They formed two continuous lines from wherever they originated to where ever the thing had gone. They both looked entreatingly at the other, as if to say “do you want to continue on, or go hide in the boat again?”
Since they wanted a good story to tell when they were rescued and because they had the fishing spears (which gave some amount of comfort) they pressed on. The branches were broken in the direction of travel so Nathan suggested they go in the opposite direction, “to see where it came from.”
After walking a mile or so, Liz spotted a second set of tracks, the same as the first but in a different direction. A little further on there was yet another. Whatever creature had left these either had many relatives, or ran about the forest a lot.
Abruptly the tree line came to an end at a tall wall. It was covered in moss and countless other types of forest plants. Curiously, the top two feet of the wall was absolutely clear of vegetation. “What would cause that?” they wondered.
Seeing no reason to stop now, and not wanting to leave the unknown track-maker unidentified for another night, they chose a direction and followed the wall.
Another mile on and they came across a break in the barrier. It was humongous, almost as big a river steamer. Neither Liz nor Nathan was keen on finding what made it. But it was an entrance into whatever the wall concealed.
Upon looking in, a grand sight greeted their eyes; a city of gleaming crystal towers. Some were tall, seeming to reach the sky; others were small, closer to the ground but were no less fantastic. They came in all shapes and sizes, some like clear cubes balanced on a corner, others in strange and twisting patterns. Water flowed from high up in the towers, creating an image of some fairy kingdom. It was the most amazing thing the brother and sister had ever seen.

“Fairies aren’t scary.” Danny stated. Kyle gave him a look. “I’m getting there.” “So, it was a city like this one?” Mara asked. “Yep, now let me continue.”

They had to explore it and were so eager to do so the mysterious creature was all but forgotten.
Getting closer to the buildings, they saw that the windows were badly cracked and many were broken. The structures themselves seemed to very old and worn. Grass and saplings grew in the cracks in the street. But, this didn’t take away from the majesty of the place. It was still beautiful, it was just slightly tarnished.
So, Nathan and Liz set about discovering what they could about this enigmatic lost city. Their lost city.
The two wandered aimlessly for a few hours as the sun grew higher in the sky. It was hottest during midday, so they sought a cool spot to eat a lunch. The perfect spot was in the shade of one of the towers, under the tattered remains of what had been an awning. Water cascaded down the side of this particular one and filled the air with a cool mist.
It was their own city now, so they started naming things as they ate. “This tower should be Waterfall Tower.” Liz put forward. “That’s original.” Nathan scoffed. “You have anything better?” she responded. He didn’t.
Cool and no longer hungry, they decided to try checking out the insides of some buildings. They started with the Waterfall Tower because Liz wanted to see the view from the top.
It was hard going. The stairs were badly overgrown and some were missing altogether. It didn’t take long before they realized it was just too far to the top. They picked the floor they were on and headed for the windows. From their view, only ten floors up, they could see much of the city and it was even more stunning from on high.
Nathan began looking around in the room where they were. It was a bedroom. This struck him as odd because he could tell what is was, everything else was old and falling apart but this room looked almost new, like someone was living in it still.
This gave him immediate chill bumps. A sense of panic quickly came over him. Who… or what was living here. Having had enough, he dragged Liz, with much protesting on her part, down the ten floors faster than either thought possible.
“What is wrong with you?” she screamed upon leaping off the last step. Nathan was silent for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “Well. I’m waiting.” Liz stomped her foot impatiently.
Able to breathe properly now he told her what he saw and what he thought it meant. Liz was sure it was nothing but didn’t let that stop her from teasing Nate. “Maybe… it was… A GHOST!” He leapt at her loud proclamation. But then said that “ghosts don’t sleep in bedrooms, they don’t sleep at all! And they especially don’t make up beds and dust shelves.” “How do you know?” Nathan didn’t really know, but he was sure hoping he was right. The alternative made him uneasy.
Liz was still adamant they check inside of buildings. Nathan went with her, but kept an eye out for anything else weird. He felt like he was being watched and kept thinking he saw something out of the corner of his eye.
Nathan was following behind his sister when she suddenly turned around and said “How are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Making it sound like you have two sets of footsteps.”
“Um, I’m not. See I told you this place was creepy!”
“Whatever, you aren’t fooling me. Just stop it.”
“Liz…” He stopped himself and just nodded, he knew she didn’t believe him. They continued on with their explorations.
  He saw nothing else like the clean bedroom until they wandered into what looked like clothing store from the outside.
Liz was all “oohs and ahhhs” at the many mannequins clothed in various fashions. Nathan was disturbed by the fact that they looked new. The cloth wasn’t rotted or mildewed and the mannequins themselves seemed to be untouched by time.
When he pointed this out to Liz she pooh-poohed his “irrational” fears of clean spaces. So, he kept his mouth shut as she tried on the various things in the store. After what seemed an eternity to Nathan his sister’s thirst for ancient fashion was quenched.

Kyle and Danny exchanged knowing glances at this. Girls and clothes.

When they left the building a faint noise was heard, a low sound that was very much like a crying woman. Liz then decided it was probably best to leave the area as fast as possible.
The sun was approaching the horizon now and the siblings remembered what had led them to discovering the city, the mysterious track maker. Neither wanted to be in the city after dark.
When they reached where the hole in the wall had been it was gone. There was no trace it had ever been there.
“Maybe we just got turned around.” Liz suggested.
“No, look over there, the cube building was on our right as we entered.” Nathan was sure this was the spot. So what had happened to the wall? How could it just be fixed?
Liz was now getting worried, the sun was halfway set and the wall and buildings had already cast much of the city into darkness. They started a fire next to the wall, feeling safer with a solid something at their backs.
Nate of course was feeling slightly haughty, Liz now believed him something was up with their city. But where did that leave them? Stuck in a scary, strange place with odd goings on in the dark.
Thankful now that Liz had gotten clothes, they used them as blankets. The two huddled close to each other as the final rays of sunshine disappeared. Night had fallen.
Nathan suggested they try to sleep. Liz, who was finally frightened, wondered about what might come upon them in the dark. Nathan said he would stay awake and take watch for a while, then switch with Liz. She agreed.
She did nod off after a short while, tired from the day of exploring. Nate was wary at first, looking for whatever had been causing the mysterious noises. But he too fell asleep.
A loud wail awoke them both. That was followed with the sound of a crumbling wall and then by the sound of branches being crushed and broken. Instantly the fishing spears were in their hands, what the fishing tools could do against whatever was causing the racket they did not know.
The sound continued behind them and behind the wall for some time, its source seemed to be going around and around doing who know what.
The racket gradually faded off into the distance.
Nathan and Liz did not want to leave their fire and the safety it represented. With the apparent danger gone, they decided to try to sleep again. Neither did.
Still some hours before dawn, Liz was staring at Waterfall Tower when she noticed an odd glimmering behind a broken window. At first she thought it was starlight reflecting in the room. But then it started to move.
The glimmer became a blue glow and began moving in peculiar ways behind the window. First, it went from side to side in front of the window; it then moved back and forth, deeper into the building, then back near the window again.
Liz tried to speak, to get Nathans attention but no sound would come out of her mouth. She managed a squeak. Nathan, who had been staring at the sky, heard her and turned to look.
“What was that sound?” he joked. “You swallow a mouse?”
Liz could only point at what she saw. Her hand was trembling as she did. Nathan looked and saw the light as well. Again, he was overcome with chill bumps. He knew it was in the room they had been in earlier.
While the two were staring, frozen to their spots, they noticed more lights starting to glow in the tower and then in other buildings throughout the city. What was going on? What were they?
Nathan regained his ability to speak and said “I think… I think they are dead lights.”
“Whats?” Liz croaked.
“Dead lights. You know, the spirits of the dead, the dearly departed, those who have gone before.” He said exasperated.
“Oh” was all Liz could say. Now she was twice as frightened as before, and didn’t think that she could take much more of this.
Their legs did not want to move, so they sat still. All they could do was watch the lights. They noticed they were different colors; some were red, others blue and even some greens and oranges.
“I wonder why they are different colors like that.” Liz stated this as more of a question, hoping Nate knew more.
“They say they just are. Maybe it depends on the kind of person they were in life. I don’t know.”
The lights now filled many windows in the city, and there were even some on the ground in the distance. The siblings hoped they stayed in the distance.
It was weird, not just that they were seeing what appeared to be ghosts, but because they seemed to be confined to single areas and followed specific paths in them. The lights moved in squares and in patterns of lines.
As the dawn slowly approached and the sky got lighter, the lights gradually went out. They faded back into the dark as if they had not existed at all.
Having had enough of being in this city of the dead, they packed up and left, following the wall, before the sun even came up. But it seems they had not gone unnoticed in the night, Liz noticed the footsteps she had heard the day before. She stopped their walking with a hand motion and put a finger to her lips.
The footsteps continued for a second more, as if it had not expected them to stop all of a sudden, then ceased.
“That wasn’t you yesterday, was it?”
“No.” came the whispered reply.
Brother and sister looked at each other, nodded, and broke into a run. Hoping to find a door or a gate out of the city they still followed the wall. The following footsteps started moving faster as well. This only served to make the two run faster.
“Please, where is a stupid gate?” Nathan cried.
Then, as if in answer to his prayer they stumbled across one. It was massive, larger than any in their city, and unfortunately, locked shut.
A door was located off to one side and they tried its handle. Yes! It was unlocked and on the other side was the forest. Just as Nathan was shutting the door, he heard the footsteps arrive at the gate. He was too scared to look at what had been chasing them, but he still held the door open a crack, afraid to call attention to where they were.
The footsteps slowly came closer to the door. Nathan and Liz saw that its dead light shining under the door. A slim, waxy hand appeared at the side of the door.
Nate yelped and Liz straight out screamed. They both pulled on the door and slammed it shut. They bolted for the trees not bothering to look back. They continued running for several miles, back in the direction of the river.
Tired out, Liz called for a stop. They rested against a tall buttress tree. When Liz got her breath back she heard Nathan still wheezing for air.
“Stop breathing so loud.” She chided.
“Liz… I thought that was you.”
Not bothering to even look at each other, they started to run again. They dashed straight into a solid wall of darkness. It was hard to tell what it was under the forest canopy; it was still quite dark. The noisy breathing was coming from it.
Almost in a state of shear panic, they backed up slowly. This was the source of the tracks. It seemed to be sleeping. But, just as they thought they were going to get away from it unnoticed a bright, flashing yellow dead light started to glow in the center of the dark shape.
Then it wailed. It was the most chilling and mournful thing they had ever heard. Not needing any other cues to leave, they ran faster than they had ever done before towards the river. The thing started to follow.
“No, no, no, no, no…” chanted Liz as they ran. “Please let us get to the river.” she prayed. The loud sounds of trees and bushes being crushed followed closely behind them. The wail sounded again, it was close.
Suddenly a light came on before them. It was on the beach. “It can’t be there, it’s behind us.” screamed Nathan breathlessly. Just before they were going to start running in another direction, they heard a voice calling out.
“Nate, Liz? You out there? What’s all that racket?” It was their father, coming back to Flannigan’s Wake from a long trading trip.
“Dad!” the siblings cried out. They ran out on the beach, grabbed any personal effects from their makeshift tent and leapt into the boat.
“GO! DAD GO!” Nathan screamed.

He was going to ask why when the trees across the beach started to part and break. And then the light shone through, followed by that horrible wail. He didn’t need any other explanation. He quickly pushed the boat off the beach, jumped in and started the motor. They sped off towards home as fast as possible, leaving the strange city, its ghosts, monsters and mysteries behind.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Reality



               I sometimes find myself remembering my time as an MK as my real life. It's hard for me to live in the present because my past seems so real and full of color and experience. The day to day grind now can seem mundane in comparison. It's almost like I am holding my breath and waiting for life to begin again.
               That’s just it you see, my life after being grounded from being an MK isn't on hold, it's still moving. The here and now isn't the waiting room to the rest of my life, this is my life right here right now. I have to get myself out of this "waiting room" mind set and see what is going on around me. I have to see that while my past was fun and exciting; my memory may have made it a bit brighter than it really was. I also have to learn to see the "realness" in the now. I have a family who needs me. My Two children need love and guidance. And my wife needs my love and support. I need to see that while I have dreams of traveling again, I must accomplish things now, every day, to get there.
               As a former MK, as a person who has ADD, and as a person who writes, reality seems to slip through my fingers daily. I lose track of what needs doing now because I'm thinking too much of the future or, as is often the case, the past. I am a dreamer I suppose, and this is not at all bad (dreamers have the cool ideas after all). But I need to keep this dreaming under control. I need to make it useful to the reality of now and my family.
                Even as I write these words, I am supposed to be doing something else. I am trying, you see, to get these distractions out of my head. As reality beckons, I leave you with some words of wisdom from a nonexistent Chinese wise man. "Though the dreamers head may fly in the clouds, his family must help to hold his feet to the ground."